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Family Estrangement
Q1 – What does “family estrangement” mean?
A1 – Family estrangement refers to the broken relationships that can occur within a family unit due to a conflict, or because they choose to lose touch permanently. These family members no longer have any part in each other’s lives.
Q2 – What causes family estrangement?
A2 – Typically a conflict or disagreement is at the root of family estrangement. Major or minor issues can cause family members to cause out. Sometimes conflicts arise as the family steps in to help out with an aging family member, who may struggle with the changing roles in their family and even harbor some resentment. Often, even if the disagreement is only between a couple of family members, it may create a greater divide in the family, since they may be forced to pick sides, especially if the feuding relatives will no longer be in each other’s presence.
Q3 – How can family estrangement be mended?
A3 – Conflicts are bound to occur, but families can make the effort to make sure that they salvage their relationships. The most important step is to talk about the issue constructively; both parties can apologize for the role they played, whether or not they truly believe they were in the wrong. They should also be sympathetic to the other person’s perspective and work together to come up with a solution.
Q4 – Should another family member intervene if the conflict continues on?
A4 – Another family member shouldn’t interfere or become too involved, but can encourage their loved ones to reunite. Sometimes an older member who feels responsible for bringing his/her family back together may step in.
Q5 – How can families move forward from conflicts?
A5 – Families should make sure to take the time to let their relatives know they care regularly by calling on holidays, birthdays and other special occasions or sending photos to keep each other informed on what’s happening in their lives.
January 7, 2009 at 9:39 am
I’m so glad you wrote about this. As an author, speaker, and caregiving family advisor, I encounter so many families who are fighting and/or have stopped talking altogether, and oftentimes, this conflict arose out of caregiving issues.
Caring for our family members shouldn’t tear us apart. It takes hard work, honesty, and lot of patience and forgiveness to be a family and even moreso when the challenges of caregiving come into the picture.
But it’s worth it. Our families help define who we are, and these conflicts teach us about ourselves.
~Carol D. O’Dell
Author, Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir
available on Amazon
http://www.mothering-mother.com